Outsider

As you all may know I'm currently studying in Taipei, it has been 3 months by now and to be honest my chinese didn't developed much.. reason? because everyday I still hanging out with my indonesian friends, I eat dinner with them everyday and they're my best pals right here. If I want to improve my chinese, I actually need to hang around taiwanese everyday and living with chinese every second. But my one of my roommate is indonesian, my best friends here are indonesian, not that I complain but, it's really not the best way to learn a native language by hanging around 'your people'.

It's not that easy being a foreigner (plus you're a quiet one), you don't even understand what they're (native) talking about. Yeah I got friends in my class, but I hardly chat with them (let's just say A and B), I just hang around them. It's better than being alone you know (and there are like 2 loner people in my class). Maybe because I don't take initiative to talk first or just go with their flow, but I always found myself silent while they 2 chatting something I don't know (most of it), but it's not like they ignore me though. I try to talk as much as possible but it's certainly not enough. I am a quiet & shy person to begin with and now add my burden with language barrier, I am literally a stone. 

I only say things when there's something to talk about, or to ask about. A only chat with B because she thinks my chinese is not good enough so why does she had to chat with me when I can't understand what she's saying, sometimes I do feel left out. But they're good people because I can still hang around with them, still... I want to get closer, I want to chat with them too! Not just asking and un-important stuff!

I know all of my classmates, but I only talked to... maybe 20% of them. I share greetings with 15% others. I think I'm the nerd and un-cool one in the class HAHA while in high school I'm the average one, GOD I MISS HIGHSCHOOL! I got  other 4 other roommates who's also foreigner so... does that help? It's not enough though... 

I ask myself, "when will this last?" "how long does it take until I can speak & read like native?" I know the time will come, and it MUST come.